The course is as fast as ever and this year's entry of Carn Runners included Rory, Brydie, Mark Dorrell, Steve and Wendy Marks (pic above).  If there were any others please let me know, I lost the plot after 5 minutes of trawling through the results of 10,009 finishers!  I'm sure you'll let me know!

Hopefully, Steve will send in another report!  He needs to, if only just to tell us how his missus destroyed the 2 hour barrier!

Brydie was happy enough with taking her PB down to 1:46 at Bideford when she knocked 5 minutes off of her old one.  She must have been creaming it after her run at Bath as her finishing time was...wait for it............1:42:37!!!!!!!!  She even caught Rory on the line as he had the same finishing time (flash in the pan at Bideford then Rory??...ha,ha).

Mark managed a PB by over 2 minutes with his time of 1:30:08 - great run!

 On to Delia Smith's favourite boy...Stevie Marks.  1:44:29!  That's got to be a PB surely!  Now onto young Wendy.  Sub 2 hours means you scrape in at 1:59 or something and are happy with that!!  She's not read the script!!  She's delivering 1:56:34 thank you very much.  A fantastic result!!

Well Done to all of you.  I won't steal anymore of this space as you read  Marksy Boy's  fun and fruity article:

MUD, MUD LABORIOUS MUD!

"Sorry to paraphrase Flanders and Swann, but mud was the order of the day at the Bath Half Marathon. "Nothing quite like it for BOILING the blood". You'll like Bath said Wendy. Lovely buildings, nice shops, the baths. You couldn't see out of the windscreen it was raining so much. The AA routemaster map is obviously in partnership with the oil companies. A 3 hour journey ended up like National Lampoons Summer Vacation. One stretch of road and several Bristolian drivers will have to be renamed Effin after my new middle name. Are we at war again? Have all the signposts been taken down?

Finally get to Bath and Wendy has a "hairdryer" at the receptionist who wanted a tenner for booking in early. After Wendys head stopped spinning around and we'd cleaned up all the green goo, a blood soaked girl gave us the garret at the top. Oh Rapunzel I thought, I could paint a masterpiece in here or chop off an ear. Wendy gave her three heads a bit off a rest and I set off into the town to find supplies. M&S had Wild Orkney Oats drizzled and infused with Lark Spit on a compote of Badger Poo but at those prices I settled for Waitrose.

Watch the rugby, wail at the football results (looked for the receptionist again to vent my spleen but she'd changed into a young chap). Mike and family and Jackie and friend from Hayle arranged to meet us at Garfunkels for a meal. Old Art has a lovely big house in Bath you know but he's fallen on hard times and opened it up as a restaurant. More pasta. Why can't a thick juicy steak and chips, five pints of Guinness be full of carbs and the ideal preparation. Decide on an early night and spend all the early part trying to make two after eight mint thin pillows into a deep enough pile to rest my head on.

Up early and get the porridge on. Lets have a bagel for good luck. Why do they bother putting those seeds on them when half are left in the bag and the other half end up on the floor.
Set off too early thanks to adrenaline and have to stop off for a quick mocha and eight sugars. Wendy more worried about her inability to put on mascara and lippy due to the inclement weather than carbing up. "No photographs pleeeeaaaase Alfie!".

Hit the Rec to be greeted by the mud. Charge over to the New Balance tent and 10,000 people are creating enough steam to heat the homes of Bath. Wendy creates her first PB of the day when she only has to queue for an hour for the ladies. Last minute preparations such as the dry pee are interrupted by the tannoy, "there will be an hour delay". Apparently nobody had provided a tent for the first aiders. The weight of the bag I'm carrying means I must have at least a gazebo in it. No! I open up my odds and sods tin. Pens Plasters, pins, thought I had some headache tablets but the parrot's eat 'em all, vaseline, CONDOMS?. I must admit I was intoxicated by the smell of burning rubber at an early age. Sorry, no tent.

All 10,000 then move to the bar at the rugby ground and now we've enough steam to power Wells also. Glastonbury have their own supply of mud steam but thats how Marion and Dwain got into trouble. I must admit I know how branded and guilty they feel when I run the wrong side of a traffic cone without the marshals noticing. Another puzzle is when the burly one in the orange top says "take those earphones out" and you wonder how people can hear him.
Hand in your baggage and get off to the start line at last. Thank god for bin liners. I'm sorry people but if you wear your best gear at the start, the homeless of the west country are going to look fabulous in their Ron Hill jackets when you toss them away. No more "Big Issue mate?" its now "Size 8 Helly Hansen Madam?". This is the first time I have been so close to the start line that I knew they had celebrities starting the race. Sub 1.45 gets you with some younger fitter chaps. Now I told you we had an hours delay. So we have had plenty of time to organise. Oh No! I haven't vaselined the nipples and nethers, I've left my "hooch" bottle in the bag and I'm wearing two pairs of shorts.

A Halfords air horn gets us underway and we hurtle down the road. Bath have pacers of course. Dyslexic ones. After four miles at 7.23 pace we just passed the 9 minute mile pacer. Wendy was supposed to stick with him so if she's keeping up she's going to look like a raspberry nipple oops meant ripple. Get to the lower Bristol road and bump into a guy we met in Dublin and he gives me all the news on his latest conquests and distances. He's well over six foot but should be only two feet three all the races he does.
Crack on to the finish and I know its going to be a good 'un and cross the line with a tear in my eye. Nothing to do with my time but the bottom pair of the two pairs of shorts have now ridden up so much I could cut cheese with them. Push everyone out of the way and take a leap at the baggage tent by sliding across the mud for longer than the Severn Bore.

Try to get back to the finish to see Wendy in but the stewards have having none of it. One must be related to the stretch of road mentioned earlier as one frustrated runner called him an Effin Moron. After what seemed an eternity, Wendy wanders through the funnel with a big grin on her face so I know she's done it well. Off we go, shower etc and its into the pub for the exaggerated tales of feats of endurance (thats waiting for the head to settle on the Guinness). Jackie (another PB) and pal join us and its off for a Ruby. Meet Suzy Bosustow and hubby in the bar and she's had a PB as well so the ale is going down extremely well. Wendy takes us to the oldest pub in Bath. Two Guinness and two red wines and you are paying the prices of the newest pub in Bath. Why do they charge you more for less? Last orders at nine! You're having a giraffe! Find another pub and the evening finishes at a more decadent time and after several cocktails which have a name that would make Howard Stern blush but hit the spot and we wind our way home happy and tiddly.

Well done to Brydie for another brilliant time and qualification for NY? What happened to Rory I don't know but Brydie has got him running slower. Wendy saw Dave Scott at the start but I missed him so I am not sure how he fared. Best of all pride of place must go the me old makeup less ducks for a cracking 1.56 which is 6 mintues inside her best. It seemed most of the Cornish contingent ran fabulous times which shows our club and grand prix system must be doing some good. Well done to everyone, one and all. You must do Bath if you get the chance. Good course, lovely city with plenty of choice if you are staying overnight and tons and tons of mud."