Steve completed the two lap course around Billy Shakespeare's manor in an excellent 4:04:43.  That's all i'm reporting as you'll be expecting to be reading another of Steve's masterpiece articles in this space very soon.  Ensure your ribs are ready for that and that your Parson's Nose is removed to save any mishaps.

Booooooooootiful!!

Steve's Report:

Now I'm only going to say this once so pay attention. All this rubbish you read about 18 here, 20 the next, pasta and carbs for tea, rest up for a week. Utter nonsense.
Take my tip. First, get yourself a medical problem so you take more pills than Pete Doherty. Plan a 13 week training schedule which you reduce to nine. No more than 30 miles a week. Get yourself a football team that waits until the 2nd last game of the season before saving relegation. Send your son off to Afghanistan to get shot at. The week before your race, sit on a fork lift truck with your knees under your chin for eight hours a day. Spend the day before the race walking aroung in the heat for as long as possible, preferably spending some time in a Wetherspoons. Have a good Ruby Murray for your evening meal. Seafood in a spicy sauce is recommended. Sleep on a Travel Lodge bed with windows that don't open. Make sure you have driven at least 400 miles to the race. Don't bother using your usual less than £40 NB's that have served so well. Get some expensive Nikes and make sure you get nice and blistered.

So we turned up at Stratford. Goodness, I thought Redruth was in a state, but their buildings are nearly all falling down. By the way, if he was such an elegant poet, how come he missed a few letters out of BARD. Got to the start line and thought they were shooting an episode of Rosie and Jim. If these narrow boats are so good why were they all moored up. Have you ever seen one moving? Embarassed Wendy by putting on the vaseline in front of everyone. Embarassed her cos I didn't have to use much.

The Klaxon goes and we're off. Andy from Hayle asks my forecast. Lucky to get 4.15 I tell him. Aye Aye there's Danny from the 100 club doing another 26 on a Sunday. Whats your real hobby I ask him? This is alright. Nice villages. Lovely Golf Course. Look at that view. Nice people to chat to. You've come a long way, they say. No, I started from the same place as you did. 10 miles gone. 83 minutes. You clown. You're running the same pace as the Half crowd. Wendy is there at twelve with nourishment. See you at 22 she says. Get to 20. A well wisher shouts out, You've done 20, only six to go. What a stroke of luck he was there. I could have still been running if it weren't for that piece of insider trading. Oh no. 2.59. I'll turn to a pillar of salt or more likely spontaneous combust. The only time I felt more scared is when I showed my Mum my first pair of platform boots! Now you are on the Greenway which is 5 miles of Roman road. Dead flat and dead straight (see pic). Thank goodness all that special training I've been doing takes over and I finish running the last six at a more appropriate pace.

Great race. Well marshalled. Great water and lucozade stops. Flat and picturesque course. Nice finish. Not too many club runners so theres some good kudos to be had. Congratulations to Shaun Milford on his victory and thanks to the Rotarians for a splendid day out. Thanks as ever to Wendy for her support even though she was feeling a bit crook and the support she gave to others who badly needed it out there. Nice to have you back Sam.